its a long weekend...
its PH today. but i'm still back in office working OT. what hella? cause tax deadline is on monday. so i have more and more finals to rush out. however, its fun seeing the office the other way around. and my mentor OT till 1AM last night. gosh! imagine! and everything is pulling me away from my world. MY world. if u get what i mean. well. fact is, non cant be relied. and non is there for life. u have to work for it. put in effort. put in ur sweat. i sick and tired in working for it. in being the only soul giving out. putting in the effort. i wrote the email. but i've yet to sent. childish or what? i dont know.
this sentence came to me... god sent us down to earth to repent our sins. is that the truth? and if u have to work to live. then isnt life=work. and then, isnt it better to not live? oh wells. i dont know whats going thru that puny thing up my head. but i definitely know two major thing in my life is now pulling me apart from alot of stuff. "you chose this yourself".... quite true. however. i just merely stopped initiating if all realise. and just merely STOP INITIATING causes such a big change. i dunno what the heck am i ranting here. but i stressed up to my ass i swear. there'e two side of work i have to look after. in fact 3....
sometimes. i reckon the fact that giving up this much brought me alot too. like happy relationship. promising future. lovely bf. certain commitments. and eureka peeps. if i were the one who have changed and isolated.. why the heck can i still be so close with certain ppl? i dont understand this fact...
and i've come to know that... everyone plays a part in everything. if one puts in the effort and not the other. then there's no point and it wont bring u any ending either. oh wells. i get what sam mean by the bucket bucket thingy. its true in fact. but then and again... im not regreting my choice.. but i will work harder to bring back the past. i'm making an effort.... will the rest?
i miss jacq... she'll understand when she's around. she'll be here.. she'll tok to out. i swear she'll be the nicest around=( seriously, she is indifferent in some ways. jacq. u hear this? IMY!
Claire
